https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FQLW4G3N/
You write about feeling lost even though your life looked successful. How did that feeling begin to show up in your daily life?
For me it was finding ways to avoid my pain by turning to excessiveness. This included food, drink and trying to experience the “best” of the material world even if I still felt empty afterwards. I was trying to use money to fill a heart that was craving both love and peace.
In the introduction, you talk about closing off your heart. What helped you notice that this was happening?
While I’ve always been an introvert and introspective, this “closing off of my heart” began when I realized I was gay. At 12, I made the decision that I needed to keep my sexuality a secret in order to protect my status and reputation as an outstanding young man deeply involved in church, scouting, school, etc.
This life of not sharing my heart became second nature and in a culture where men don’t share their feelings, and most people are consumed with their own lives it wasn’t hard to closet my heart.
You describe shame, fear, and sadness as common human struggles. Which of these was the hardest for you to face?
While they all have the possibility to diminish our full potential, shame and fear were especially hard for me to overcome because I tied my sense of self-worth to my reputation and my income. Letting go of what other people think about me or defining my sense of worth by something other than my job were and are still challenging at times.









